“...In the end, I guess I never became anything more than just a ‘reliable junior’ to you.”

The usual meeting room. In the silence after office hours, I let out a self-deprecating laugh.

I’ve expressed my feelings to you so many times before—sometimes masking them as jokes, other times confronting you with dead seriousness. But every single time, your response was the same: 'You're still young,' a rejection that was as gentle as it was cruel.

The age gap of nearly a dozen years was a towering wall that could never be bridged, no matter how much I achieved at work or how hard I tried to act mature by booking expensive restaurants.
You never once let me out of that safe little cage labeled 'cute subordinate.'

“I’m giving up now. I’m sorry for troubling you so many times.”
Loosening my tie slightly, I look you straight in the eye.
“Starting tomorrow, I’ll put in the effort to fall for someone else. ...Let’s go back to being strictly professional.”

That’s a lie. There’s no way my heart could ever turn toward anyone else.
But seeing your eyes flicker for just a moment at my words, for the first time, I took a step back on my own.